Nothing New.

I joined a woman's softball team 3 years ago.

I knew only one girl on the team, Stacey, and so when we got in a circle to introduce and say something about ourselves anything was new.

Only Stacey knew me and truly anything I said to these other girls was new.

I froze.

I could think of nothing.

Stacey finally jumped in and said "You just got a promotion!" and I had.

I had just got a promotion at work. It hit me then that I don't do BIG things, nor do BIG things happen to me.

I don't travel the world.

I don't host charitable events.

I am not a a nurse, teacher or lawyer.

That first year, everyone sort of had work related things.

Just graduated.

Just finished the Bar Exam.

Just started a new job.

Just got promoted.

I fit in just fine.

The second year, again I was very nervous when then sharing circle formed for all the new girls on the team. I had gotten to know most of these girls so they knew more about me now. I needed something new.

Froze.

I recall the big mile stones this year were:

Just bought a house.

Just got engaged.

Just bought a dog.

Just got married.

Toured Africa or some shit.

And again I had nothing new.

Not shocking, I do not recall what I said, maybe something along the lines of

"just got my bike tuned up"

This year I am dreading the sharing circle even more because today there was a chain of e-mails that went around about who was on the team and not forgetting to sign up and the sharing circle started early.

One girl has already announced that she was not playing this year cause she was due to have a baby boy in August.

Stacey (my one and only pal) announced that she too will be expecting a baby in October so will not be able to play.

And in true Maneaters* competitive form, one girl shot back an e-mail announcing that she had just gotten engaged 5 minutes ago.

Text extracted from actual email:

And more to add to my team, more news, I just got engaged tonight!!! Xo! Congrats Stacey and Danielle!!! C you all soon! - Michelle

Not to mention I think 3 girls got married over the winter too.

I have a knot in my stomach now racking my brain for what the hell I am supposed to announce in MAY to all these girls who are jumping over all these life's milestones.

"Gee, let's see, this winter I....

Gosh, well, I....

I put snow tires on the car,

well technically I did do that last year too, I just didn't share it last spring.

Ok, what else do I have?

I...I guess my office moved buildings,

but technically just 1 street over so... that is not too exciting.

I suppose I will go with, Cambridge.

I spent a couple weeks in Cambridge on work related tasks. Who's Next?"

Yep, That one will blow their minds.

If I wasn't such a shitty liar I would make something up,

but the second one person called me out I would be dead in the water.

I'm gonna go buy a lotto ticket. It's my only hope.

*name of the team, unfortunately based on Nelly Furtado,

but for me it's Hall & Oates all the way baby.